Oh what a friend can do for the soul. It’s no secret I have a wonderful set of friends; the problem is most of them are three thousand miles away. And while Skype and other social mediums have made moving away from them infinitely more bearable, it just doesn’t replace the simple warmth of an embrace or the smile two people can exchange not with their mouths, but in the depth of their eyes.
In the last two months, I forgot what that connection was like. I’ve walked around this crowded city never alone, yet still lonely. I know people here, I like people here, but I’m missing those who know what I’m thinking. Those who know what tricks I have up my sleeve before I even think to use them. Those people who I don’t mind when they laugh with me or at me, as long as I get to see them smile.
Don’t get me wrong, things are good here, but as I was talking to Shauna (someone I see far too little of) we discussed the City’s ability to play with emotions. The best way to describe it is… the highs are higher, but the lows are even lower. When something good happens to you, you feel like you have 8 million of your closest friends to share it with. But when you’re just the slightest bit down, the city kicks you in the face.
Think about it; if you have a down turn in a relationship, you don’t necessarily want to be around happy couples. If you just lost your job, you don’t want to celebrate someone else’s promotion. This doesn’t mean you’re mad at the fortunate ones, it just means you want some time to wallow –alone. Not gonna happen in New York my friend; remember I said, “lonely, but not alone”… never alone. Subways are filled with loving couples stealing kisses. Restaurants have their seats reserved with people celebrating success. And bars are overflowing with friends laughing the day’s events away. Everywhere you look will send you into a deeper pit than you ever intended on descending.
Thankfully, yesterday marked the start of The Great Friend Migration of 2010. Over the next few days, Kev and I have 8 friends coming into town to see us and celebrate Halloween in the city. First to arrive was Geoff and Breezer, who are actually going to be houseguests for two of the nights they are in town. Last night I was so anxious to see them, I walked to the subway stop to greet them. When I found them, I got my embrace, and I got my deep smile. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I had been missing a close connection. How can a friend make you feel better than you are? I’m not quite sure, but I think it happened just when I needed it to. We spent the night catching up, eating greasy Chinese delivery, and sightseeing. But, most importantly laughing. Sometimes laughing when nothing was said because our bonds exceeded the confinements of language.
I spent last night sharing my joy with 8 million of my closest friends. Friendship is a powerful bond. I can only hope I return the joy others give to me.
