Who smokes weed at 5:00 am??? No really... who the hell is up even socializing at 5 in the morning? Is it because I'm 30 that this time seems like a horrible time to be up; I think not. I have always stood by the belief that being up for sunrise is a horrible idea. Think about it, if you are still up when the sunrises, then clearly you've had too long of a night and you're probably way too intoxicated to enjoy gods gift to insomniacs. But let's say no stimulants were involved and you were just having a wonderful all-nighter with a lover--- you’re still fucked for the rest of the day and your sleep schedule is going to be thrown off for the next week. Not a good idea!!!
How about if you’re getting up before the sunrise... still a bad idea. Who wants to be up that early? In this case, you know you didn't get to bed early enough to get adequate rest so your puffy eyes look like hell. Plus, if you're like me, you'll keep hitting snooze until that last critical minute before you must leave. There's the time you'd like to be up to properly get ready, then there's the critical time; the time when one must leave in order to not arrive late. Too often during my snoozing I start cutting things out of my morning ritual to get that extra 9 minutes of sleep. First is the shower. But really how dirty can I be? I probably took a shower the night before so that's not a biggie. Next could possibly be ironing clothes, but who am I kidding--I don't iron. Next thing I cut out is a biggie. Starbucks: I like the ritual and it stops the chance of a caffeine headache by noon. But look at the positive, already I have given myself 3 extra snoozes. The last trade off for a snooze is the teeth. Yep, vulgar as it is, there have been times when I decided the next 9 minutes of sleep would be more valuable than hygiene. And you know what judgers--you've probably done it too, plus Trident Peppermint Whitening does a great job at masking my hellaciously rank morning breath.
Good god where was I going with this... oh yeah, it's not a good idea to get up before the sun because it leads to a lack of sleep, which is a leading cause of people who walk around all day with no showers, caffeine headaches, wrinkled clothes, and dragon breath. Again, no one should be up for sunrise.
But back to my original point: who smokes weed at 5:00 am? Well apparently my neighbors do. And they must smoke quite a bit because at 5:00am, I was awakened by the skunky smell of cheap weed wafting through my windows. Wafting... who am I kidding, it was billowing into my room on the second floor. It woke me up for Christ's sake. It was so bad I got the munchies. As I giggled my way into the kitchen, I decided it was a good idea to make a peanut butter and jelly burrito. Yes, burrito. I took out a flour tortilla, slathered it with way too much peanut butter, added just a dollop of jelly, and then folded it (not wrapped, because wrapping would make it a wrap and not a burrito) into a double closed-end burrito. I ate every delicious bite while still half asleep and wondering when the hell my neighbors were gonna sleep.
Now my feelings towards weed are neither positive nor negative. I don't enjoy the smell, but I don't mind if people smoke it to unwind and relax. I really don't mind it when people use it to get their appetite back. I do however mind when people are smoking so much that it gives me an appetite. God knows I don't need another reason to eat.
Enjoy your weed people, just not at sunrise and not under my window please.
